Collabtunes · Memorabilia
EPHEMERA (FLYER, CARD, CLIPPING) - RATED (R, X, NC-17) - PAGE 1 OF 1
5 pieces on this page · every one an original · every photograph, nothing hidden · dashed lines are yours to fill
Item 1
I, I dont want to lie to
Black ink handwritten text on a white sheet of paper next to four small, hand-drawn paper squares containing numbers.
- Why it matters
- Tom writes this
- Type
- Ephemera (flyer, card, clipping)
- Collection
- Tom writes this
- Published in
- PREVIOUSLY UNPUBLISHEDSearched against the 34 albums, every book and Poems By Tom - found in none of them
Price · Tier · Tom fills these
The only picture of this piece
The words on this page
I, I dont want to lie to
you
I dont wanna be your friend
I, I want to confide in you
That I saved the best
For the very end..
For the very end
I, I just had to tell
some one
My dirty... little secret
I, I have barely just
begun
to speak the truth
but now theres no use.
but now theres no use
---
Today I won't lose my way like last time
Audio swapped
to the road
have a drink 14k
morning sex
DEAD END
LOOKING FOR LOVE
ALCOHOL
In the pouring rain
get outta my house
Clinical Depression
IN A
little bit
(Notes transcribed from behind the primary text):
[?]
Tom's
[?]
[?]
[?]
[?]
[?]
[?]
[?]
[?]
[?]
[?]
[?]
[?]
[?]
[?]
[?]
[?]
[?]
[?]
[?]
[?]
[?]
[?]
[?]
[?]
[?]
[?]
[?]
you
I dont wanna be your friend
I, I want to confide in you
That I saved the best
For the very end..
For the very end
I, I just had to tell
some one
My dirty... little secret
I, I have barely just
begun
to speak the truth
but now theres no use.
but now theres no use
---
Today I won't lose my way like last time
Audio swapped
to the road
have a drink 14k
morning sex
DEAD END
LOOKING FOR LOVE
ALCOHOL
In the pouring rain
get outta my house
Clinical Depression
IN A
little bit
(Notes transcribed from behind the primary text):
[?]
Tom's
[?]
[?]
[?]
[?]
[?]
[?]
[?]
[?]
[?]
[?]
[?]
[?]
[?]
[?]
[?]
[?]
[?]
[?]
[?]
[?]
[?]
[?]
[?]
[?]
[?]
[?]
[?]
Item 133
GREEN
BACK OF SALEM STATE COLLEGE STUDENT GOVERNMENT ASSOCIATION FLYER - full-size pink paper. Front (407) = SGA Freshmen Elections flyer, Sept 11-13 dates, mentions Merrowvista Educational Center NH
- Why it matters
- Tom writes this
- Type
- Ephemera (flyer, card, clipping)
- Collection
- Tom writes thisthe old category list says: LONELINESS & SOLITUDE (not checked by Tom)
- Published in
- PREVIOUSLY UNPUBLISHEDSearched against the 34 albums, every book and Poems By Tom - found in none of them
- Age when written
- written by age 33 at the latestdated from the earliest book it appears in - the sheet itself may be older
Price · Tier · Tom fills these
The only picture of this piece
The words on this page
I CONSIDER MYSELF A SEXUAL INTELLECTUAL
ANOTHER FUCKING KNOW IT ALL
ANOTHER FUCKING KNOW IT ALL
Item 161
I started drinking to drown my sorrows
back of HOUGHTON MIFFLIN college marketing simulation handout
- Why it matters
- Tom writes this
- Type
- Ephemera (flyer, card, clipping)
- Collection
- Tom writes this
- Published in
- IN A BOOKPoems By Tom (2007)
200 Poems Waiting For Music (2013)
Tom Jensen Poem Anthology (2013)
Brian Rainstorm: Poetry Not Dead (2014)
180 Good Poems (2012)
Shorter Lyrics (2013)
A Lifetime Of Rhyme (2020)
The 714-Page Book (2012)
The Laima Dedication Anthology (2011) - Age when written
- written by age 29 at the latestdated from the earliest book it appears in - the sheet itself may be older
Price · Tier · Tom fills these
Picture 1 of 2
Picture 2 of 2
The words on this page
I started drinking to drown my sorrows
I gave it up when trouble learned to swim
I treaded water for so long
I didn't know how deep I was in
I tried the dead man's float
When I lost all hope
But when I didn't sink
I was beginning to think
Maybe I shouldn't swim any more
But in the middle of this dream
The currents floated me down stream
And soon I landed on the shore
[read/page 2 - shot 500]
TITLE : [NONE]
PAPER : loose sheet
LINES : 0
TEXT :
[BLANK]
I gave it up when trouble learned to swim
I treaded water for so long
I didn't know how deep I was in
I tried the dead man's float
When I lost all hope
But when I didn't sink
I was beginning to think
Maybe I shouldn't swim any more
But in the middle of this dream
The currents floated me down stream
And soon I landed on the shore
[read/page 2 - shot 500]
TITLE : [NONE]
PAPER : loose sheet
LINES : 0
TEXT :
[BLANK]
Item 548
UNTITLED - first line: Funny how I quit believing once I started bleeding
Handwritten text on a lined piece of paper with three small numbered cards placed to the left.
- Why it matters
- Tom writes this
- Type
- Ephemera (flyer, card, clipping)
- Collection
- Tom writes thisthe old category list says: CHOMSKIAN ; MISCELLANEOUS ; STATE OF THE WORLD (not checked by Tom)
- Published in
- IN A BOOKThe Laima Dedication Anthology (2011)
- Age when written
- written by age 33 at the latestdated from the earliest book it appears in - the sheet itself may be older
Price · Tier · Tom fills these
The only picture of this piece
The words on this page
Funny how I quit believing once I started
bleeding
I said "Fuck off God! You gave me life,
Now you've given me death.
So now we are even, finally rest my mind
Going down stairs to the kitchen without
my fetter mankind
I Don't like the giant ants
Each one of them waiting in line
Seeming some messiah
Keep getting bigger, stronger and faster higher
Why you in such a hurry you bastards?
that gone
Oops lets retract that
Drop this smoking gun
* Sometimes I seem such a cranky old bastard.
And I'm still relatively young
We all have the power
To climb the tallest tower
With a sniper's scope
And a lost ray of hope
All jacked up off dope
My gun and scope
Grab the gun and watch them run
Killing giant ants can be so much fun
bleeding
I said "Fuck off God! You gave me life,
Now you've given me death.
So now we are even, finally rest my mind
Going down stairs to the kitchen without
my fetter mankind
I Don't like the giant ants
Each one of them waiting in line
Seeming some messiah
Keep getting bigger, stronger and faster higher
Why you in such a hurry you bastards?
that gone
Oops lets retract that
Drop this smoking gun
* Sometimes I seem such a cranky old bastard.
And I'm still relatively young
We all have the power
To climb the tallest tower
With a sniper's scope
And a lost ray of hope
All jacked up off dope
My gun and scope
Grab the gun and watch them run
Killing giant ants can be so much fun
Item 1898
Press kits
Standard lined notebook paper with black ink notes and loose printed white computer paper.
- Why it matters
- Tom writes thison file: muse MAINE
- Type
- Ephemera (flyer, card, clipping)
- Collection
- Tom writes this
- Published in
- PREVIOUSLY UNPUBLISHEDSearched against the 34 albums, every book and Poems By Tom - found in none of them
Price · Tier · Tom fills these
Picture 1 of 12
Picture 2 of 12
Picture 3 of 12
Picture 4 of 12
Picture 5 of 12
Picture 6 of 12
Picture 7 of 12
Picture 8 of 12
Picture 9 of 12
Picture 10 of 12
Picture 11 of 12
Picture 12 of 12
The words on this page
Visability : performin public create opportunities
Success in the music industry hinges on developing relationships.
A and R people want hit singles.
Songs are the most important aspect of an artist in their eyes.
Role of Personal Manager:
• A & R person
• Publicist
• Liason between band and record company
• Helps generate buzz
• Shops your tape for a record deal
• Makes sure a label treats you right
• gets you gigs
• Act as the CEO of your business
Most management agreements are for a 3 to 5 year period.
- have clause in your contract stipulating a minimum amount of money you must earn in the first two years or time frame for a record deal.
- Short-term contract is better
Personal Managers get paid between 15 - 25 % of your gross earnings.
20 % is most common
Have Lawyer verify agreement
---
Talent Agents (work with manager) focus on helping you earn an income from live performances.
Talent Agents have strong relationships with the various people who bring talent into clubs. Also work with tour promoters.
Start with a regional talent agent until you make it big, then switch to a national talent agent.
You need to create a following before you can attract a talent agent.
Outline: Develop 6-12 markets
150-200 people
make $1000 in each market
300 mile radius
Finding an agent:
• Billboard International Talent and Touring Directory
• Poll star
Book your own tour → small agent → national
Agents
- usually want exclusive commitment to handle all bookings for you.
- want a three year commitment
- try to get a clause in your contract that stipulates if you don't generate earnings of X dollars in a year then you can be released from your contract.
- Agents usually take 15-20% of your concert fee.
- Don't give them publishing or record income.
...as of music
---
Attorneys: get one who deals specifically
in music.
• Generally charge $175 - 350 an hour
• Some charge a 5% flat fee of the advance
of your First Album to negotiate the agreement
You can change Lawyers pretty easily.
Producers - oversees the production of a
recording, making sure all the players are in
place, the studio is right, the song works
and that the budget is adequate.
Producers manage the recording session and
direct the players of a production. A producer
works with the songwriter and artist making
sure the project flows.
In the purest sense, a producer sets up the
budget, organises the project, chooses the studio,
engineer, editor and session players. Makes sure
the recording is finished properly.
On smaller projects producers may work for a flat fee.
Producers get 2 to 4 points on the record when
it is released. Get everything in writing.
A producer usually has final say on a project.
Producers
• prepare a production budget
• Make most decisions about production
• know when a project is finished
• Choose a good production team
• Know the trends of music
• let the engineer know what needs to be done
---
Executive Producer - the person who
finances the project (can be you).
A producer gives a project or song objectivity.
It is hard to be impartial over your own music.
A producer looks from an overall perspective.
Many producers have label contacts. Pick one
within your genre of music.
Demo tapes - polish it up nice. [crossed out: fission]
of your - Provide Quality Demos
- Make your talent clear
- Don't ever call a demo a finished product
Demo tape - 3 to 4 Songs on CD (no ballads)
• Best stuff first
• Pictures
• website
• do up jacket cover and label
Alterative Rock Pop
charismatic somebody pretty
front man
- Print labels when mailing demos.
Music Marketability: The market for
your music should be obvious after
hearing three songs. A label wants
to know where to slot you.
songs or [arrow pointing to] * Pick a genre to start with and don't vary
demos [arrow pointing to]
[arrow pointing to] * Have commercial appeal
---
Theres a big difference between great music
and marketable music.
Hit the music scenes and hot spots. Make
Contacts
Creating a winning image
Often, packaging is what sells the product.
Beautiful Artists still sell the best
Press Kit
• contains a picture of who you are
• Is a vehicle for effectively presenting
your image, credentials and marketability
• press kits are used to get label interest,
media coverage, gigs and more.
• radio play
• interviews
Press kit contains:
- a cover letter
- a bio
- a photograph
- press clippings
Bio -
first paragraph present a good taste
for who you are as an artist and what kind
of music you do.
List musical accomplishments first.
Keep it 1-2 pages. Closer to 1 page
---
Gig sheets
- list of live performances
- Shows you're getting exposure
- Journalists pay better attention
Quote sheets
- a list of quotes from reputable industry
people about your band/music
- act as a quick summary of your press
material.
Business Card
- looks professional
Include CD w/ contact info
velcro tape to mount CD to folder.
Packaging -> begin w/ press clippings
Press Clippings
Photo
Cover letter
Bio
Fact sheet
Gig sheet
Quote sheets
clipped w/ business card
and CD w/ jacket
address by hand
---
Press kits
- include photos
capture the essence of your music in your photo.
glossy 8x10 shot vertically
usually in black and white on glossy paper
- write contact info on back of picture
use self stickers w/printed information
Cover letter
- a brief introduction
- used as a sales pitch to the recipient
- tells what you're interested in: record deal, a
review, a write-up, etc.
- Be specific in your selling points.
- why should they sign you.
- Get passionate about your music
Press clips
- are important because they show media
acknowledgement
Fact sheets (optional)
- more résumé type of presentation
- Lists name of each member of band
what he/she plays
where they're from
whether you have a CD out or not
name and number of your contact person
---
1. Have a core group of buyers
2. Don't get pigeon holed into one genre.
Record [crossed out]
Record Label is a vehicle that provides radio and retail promotion, distribution, tour support, publicity.
Identify Target Audience and develop marketing campaign towards them.
Always get written agreements.
Get written business contracts with band members etc (P.9) Before hand! Management concerns, rights in name of band, songs and recordings.
Create a band/songwriter business card.
Postcards: 1800postcards.com 5,000 for $250.00
Talent, Material, Image
Cultivate contacts at every opportunity!
Demo, press kit, photos
Create a Buzz
• People taking notice of you
• radio play
• gigs and big turnouts
• good press
• CD is selling
---
Good day, much love.
Tom
Only just saw this mail. I'll respond in more detail later. I'm not angry with you or pushing you away.
I will say tho, that you would make a great advocate for "family planning"
Good for you, for feeling better after having gotten that off your chest ☺
On Tue, 10 Dec 2019 at 17:11, tom jensen <reachtomjensen@mail.com> wrote:
Dear A.
Please be careful who you push away. Step back a little bit. Further... a little further... okay. That's good.
I love you and your family and I understand that you are excited to add another member. I'm not afraid to be ostracized or have dissenting opinions over important matters because I have NO bias in most matters we communicate over.
You can be excited over being a grandmother but you have to understand the potential for tragedy here. A child having a child is not cause for celebration. Especially two children because she's probably seventeen, right? That is going to put sooooo much stress on the relationship that it's most likely going to break it and with...
Yesterday
and clear
---
[On the bottom left page]
thing is going to mak
achtjensen@m
be careful who
ay. That's good.
, 10 Dec 2019
achtjensen@m
be careful who
ember. I'm not
you. That's good.
e are excited at
you are excited to
children because of
much stress to raise
years, it is the most
much as to be abou
e for everybody b
perfect sense.
There's only one w
They are in no w
somebody you meet
they don't have
the boat they just
almost always anyway
[On the top left page]
Tuesday, September 17, 2019 at 7:18 PM
I know it's been so long since we've spoken, and I've been struggling to find the right words to say for such a long time now.
Basically, I need to tell you that I've been wrestling with a lot of things. I've been trying to find myself in this chaotic world. I spent about two years just trying to escape from a reality that I didn't want to accept. I've been trying to drown out the noise of the past. I think that was a bad move. I've been dealing with a lot of trauma, and it's been tough, but I'm finally ready to move on. I feel like I'm finally reaching a place where I'm ready to be a new person.
Last week I did mushrooms and had a breakthrough. I decided that it was time to establish contact enough to say that I'm sorry for being distant, and I'm finally ready to talk. I don't smoke every 45 minutes anymore. I'm in a much better place, and I think this might be a good starting point.
I am living in Maine with my father now. It's been a hard transition, and I'm still early in the first time since I left, I feel like I'm ready to take accountability for my actions and start offering somebody who and what I am. It's been hard to deal with the past, but I'm trying to move on. I know that I haven't been the easiest person to be around, but I hope we can find some common ground.
No hard feelings from my past life, and I'm going to start a new life with my own terms. Yeah, even going to college.
I haven't even really shared this plan in stone yet, but I'm looking into it. I think about it every day. I'm planning in time for now. I intend to turn my life around. I want to build a career, and probably long time from now I intend to build a family, and ultimately a partner because I'm not doing this to stay alone forever. I'm finally starting to take life seriously as an adult - at 41. Haha. Sigh.
Ummm...
Kris
is not
But
sati
[On the center page]
I'm not even a proponet
when it's hard.
Good day, much love.
Tom
Only just saw this mail. I'll respond in more detail later. I'm not angry with you or pushing
you away.
Tue, 10 Dec 2019 17:11, tom... wrote:
> Thanks for feeling that way. It's good to be in touch again.
>
> Please be careful who you push away. Step back a little bit. Further... a little further...
> <reachomjensen@mail.com>
I love you and your family and understand that you are excited to add another
member. I am not afraid to be distracted or have parents running pancakes over
for training. Each of us have a go-to grandma or aunt that can help. It's an important
matters because it's only a baby. Raising a child is a lot of work. But I'm going to put my
years and not be the relief grandma. Just one last thing: it is important to understand that you
care about you most likely going to be and that it's going to be a shock and a great joy to
have this child. It is surely not the only thing in life that matters! It works out
much as to be an adult at eighteen. Sure, there is the chance that it will
worth it! I'm sure he's still very much a kid
and that's okay.
As for everybody being against it and only your church friends b
perfect sense.
There's only one way that newcomers and relative stranger
They are in no way to dissenters, especially on
somebody you meet on a bus to completely
they don't have ten years involved in these
the boat they just got on, obviously. And of course ch
almost always anyways.
---
NOTE: SOME INFO MAY BE REDACTED
Tuesday, September 17, 2019 at 7:18 PM
Dear A.
I'm not sure how long it's been since we've talked or emailed or anything but I have no reason not to try to make contact again. Forgive me - I have lost my gift of the pen so this letter is going to be all over the place...
Basically, I tried to erase my past when we ended our friendship. I cut out everybody I ever cared about and smoked myself into oblivion with the weed. Other than my cats - the Butt died a year ago at 17 and my boy is 14 now - I was pretty much dead to the world. I ballooned up to 236 pounds, ate crap, didn't exercise, drank and stayed to myself. I didn't give a fuck about anything or anybody. A couple years ago I got my health back in order after a few major scares and have since quit drinking (14 months or so) and cigarettes (almost two years maybe?) but I was still hoovering the weed. I would smoke every 45 minutes ALL waking hours for the last five years.
Last week I did mushrooms and had a come to God moment with myself. I had planned it and I decided that enough was enough. I decided that the next day I would re-establish contact with those I loved. I am still early in the process but several people have come back already and I am a new person.
I am living in Maine with my father and my cat and started painting his house about a month ago. I did the inside and now I'm doing the outside. I'm stone cold sober for the first time ever with no vices and I think this might stick for a bit. Haha. I'm intending on becoming somebody who doesn't hate himself to death like I used to. I don't have much to offer at the moment - no job, no money, no status, but I do have the willingness to get back to the person I used to be. I didn't want to be accountable to anybody for the last five years and have been alone because of that. My ONLY friend for the last three years is my buddy Corey from grammer school and highschool but even that was mostly on my terms... Well, now I'm not self-sabotaging myself with every breath and I feel that good things are going to come.
I haven't even talked to a woman in the last five years. I am friends with Jen and Monica now - good friends from my past I recently looked up and am excited at my recent growth as a human being. I ceased being one for a long time...
So I don't have any set plan in stone at the moment other than being productive in life every day. I'm planning on moving somewhere warm when my cat dies whenever that is - hopefully a long time from now. I intend on doing something with my lyrics/music soon and probably finding another house to paint for money. I am willing to work for myself and ultimately a partner because I'm not looking to die alone anymore. Haha. I am willing to be accountable and hold up my end of the bargain. In short: I am ready to be an adult - at 41. Sigh....
Ummm.....
1
Success in the music industry hinges on developing relationships.
A and R people want hit singles.
Songs are the most important aspect of an artist in their eyes.
Role of Personal Manager:
• A & R person
• Publicist
• Liason between band and record company
• Helps generate buzz
• Shops your tape for a record deal
• Makes sure a label treats you right
• gets you gigs
• Act as the CEO of your business
Most management agreements are for a 3 to 5 year period.
- have clause in your contract stipulating a minimum amount of money you must earn in the first two years or time frame for a record deal.
- Short-term contract is better
Personal Managers get paid between 15 - 25 % of your gross earnings.
20 % is most common
Have Lawyer verify agreement
---
Talent Agents (work with manager) focus on helping you earn an income from live performances.
Talent Agents have strong relationships with the various people who bring talent into clubs. Also work with tour promoters.
Start with a regional talent agent until you make it big, then switch to a national talent agent.
You need to create a following before you can attract a talent agent.
Outline: Develop 6-12 markets
150-200 people
make $1000 in each market
300 mile radius
Finding an agent:
• Billboard International Talent and Touring Directory
• Poll star
Book your own tour → small agent → national
Agents
- usually want exclusive commitment to handle all bookings for you.
- want a three year commitment
- try to get a clause in your contract that stipulates if you don't generate earnings of X dollars in a year then you can be released from your contract.
- Agents usually take 15-20% of your concert fee.
- Don't give them publishing or record income.
...as of music
---
Attorneys: get one who deals specifically
in music.
• Generally charge $175 - 350 an hour
• Some charge a 5% flat fee of the advance
of your First Album to negotiate the agreement
You can change Lawyers pretty easily.
Producers - oversees the production of a
recording, making sure all the players are in
place, the studio is right, the song works
and that the budget is adequate.
Producers manage the recording session and
direct the players of a production. A producer
works with the songwriter and artist making
sure the project flows.
In the purest sense, a producer sets up the
budget, organises the project, chooses the studio,
engineer, editor and session players. Makes sure
the recording is finished properly.
On smaller projects producers may work for a flat fee.
Producers get 2 to 4 points on the record when
it is released. Get everything in writing.
A producer usually has final say on a project.
Producers
• prepare a production budget
• Make most decisions about production
• know when a project is finished
• Choose a good production team
• Know the trends of music
• let the engineer know what needs to be done
---
Executive Producer - the person who
finances the project (can be you).
A producer gives a project or song objectivity.
It is hard to be impartial over your own music.
A producer looks from an overall perspective.
Many producers have label contacts. Pick one
within your genre of music.
Demo tapes - polish it up nice. [crossed out: fission]
of your - Provide Quality Demos
- Make your talent clear
- Don't ever call a demo a finished product
Demo tape - 3 to 4 Songs on CD (no ballads)
• Best stuff first
• Pictures
• website
• do up jacket cover and label
Alterative Rock Pop
charismatic somebody pretty
front man
- Print labels when mailing demos.
Music Marketability: The market for
your music should be obvious after
hearing three songs. A label wants
to know where to slot you.
songs or [arrow pointing to] * Pick a genre to start with and don't vary
demos [arrow pointing to]
[arrow pointing to] * Have commercial appeal
---
Theres a big difference between great music
and marketable music.
Hit the music scenes and hot spots. Make
Contacts
Creating a winning image
Often, packaging is what sells the product.
Beautiful Artists still sell the best
Press Kit
• contains a picture of who you are
• Is a vehicle for effectively presenting
your image, credentials and marketability
• press kits are used to get label interest,
media coverage, gigs and more.
• radio play
• interviews
Press kit contains:
- a cover letter
- a bio
- a photograph
- press clippings
Bio -
first paragraph present a good taste
for who you are as an artist and what kind
of music you do.
List musical accomplishments first.
Keep it 1-2 pages. Closer to 1 page
---
Gig sheets
- list of live performances
- Shows you're getting exposure
- Journalists pay better attention
Quote sheets
- a list of quotes from reputable industry
people about your band/music
- act as a quick summary of your press
material.
Business Card
- looks professional
Include CD w/ contact info
velcro tape to mount CD to folder.
Packaging -> begin w/ press clippings
Press Clippings
Photo
Cover letter
Bio
Fact sheet
Gig sheet
Quote sheets
clipped w/ business card
and CD w/ jacket
address by hand
---
Press kits
- include photos
capture the essence of your music in your photo.
glossy 8x10 shot vertically
usually in black and white on glossy paper
- write contact info on back of picture
use self stickers w/printed information
Cover letter
- a brief introduction
- used as a sales pitch to the recipient
- tells what you're interested in: record deal, a
review, a write-up, etc.
- Be specific in your selling points.
- why should they sign you.
- Get passionate about your music
Press clips
- are important because they show media
acknowledgement
Fact sheets (optional)
- more résumé type of presentation
- Lists name of each member of band
what he/she plays
where they're from
whether you have a CD out or not
name and number of your contact person
---
1. Have a core group of buyers
2. Don't get pigeon holed into one genre.
Record [crossed out]
Record Label is a vehicle that provides radio and retail promotion, distribution, tour support, publicity.
Identify Target Audience and develop marketing campaign towards them.
Always get written agreements.
Get written business contracts with band members etc (P.9) Before hand! Management concerns, rights in name of band, songs and recordings.
Create a band/songwriter business card.
Postcards: 1800postcards.com 5,000 for $250.00
Talent, Material, Image
Cultivate contacts at every opportunity!
Demo, press kit, photos
Create a Buzz
• People taking notice of you
• radio play
• gigs and big turnouts
• good press
• CD is selling
---
Good day, much love.
Tom
Only just saw this mail. I'll respond in more detail later. I'm not angry with you or pushing you away.
I will say tho, that you would make a great advocate for "family planning"
Good for you, for feeling better after having gotten that off your chest ☺
On Tue, 10 Dec 2019 at 17:11, tom jensen <reachtomjensen@mail.com> wrote:
Dear A.
Please be careful who you push away. Step back a little bit. Further... a little further... okay. That's good.
I love you and your family and I understand that you are excited to add another member. I'm not afraid to be ostracized or have dissenting opinions over important matters because I have NO bias in most matters we communicate over.
You can be excited over being a grandmother but you have to understand the potential for tragedy here. A child having a child is not cause for celebration. Especially two children because she's probably seventeen, right? That is going to put sooooo much stress on the relationship that it's most likely going to break it and with...
Yesterday
and clear
---
[On the bottom left page]
thing is going to mak
achtjensen@m
be careful who
ay. That's good.
, 10 Dec 2019
achtjensen@m
be careful who
ember. I'm not
you. That's good.
e are excited at
you are excited to
children because of
much stress to raise
years, it is the most
much as to be abou
e for everybody b
perfect sense.
There's only one w
They are in no w
somebody you meet
they don't have
the boat they just
almost always anyway
[On the top left page]
Tuesday, September 17, 2019 at 7:18 PM
I know it's been so long since we've spoken, and I've been struggling to find the right words to say for such a long time now.
Basically, I need to tell you that I've been wrestling with a lot of things. I've been trying to find myself in this chaotic world. I spent about two years just trying to escape from a reality that I didn't want to accept. I've been trying to drown out the noise of the past. I think that was a bad move. I've been dealing with a lot of trauma, and it's been tough, but I'm finally ready to move on. I feel like I'm finally reaching a place where I'm ready to be a new person.
Last week I did mushrooms and had a breakthrough. I decided that it was time to establish contact enough to say that I'm sorry for being distant, and I'm finally ready to talk. I don't smoke every 45 minutes anymore. I'm in a much better place, and I think this might be a good starting point.
I am living in Maine with my father now. It's been a hard transition, and I'm still early in the first time since I left, I feel like I'm ready to take accountability for my actions and start offering somebody who and what I am. It's been hard to deal with the past, but I'm trying to move on. I know that I haven't been the easiest person to be around, but I hope we can find some common ground.
No hard feelings from my past life, and I'm going to start a new life with my own terms. Yeah, even going to college.
I haven't even really shared this plan in stone yet, but I'm looking into it. I think about it every day. I'm planning in time for now. I intend to turn my life around. I want to build a career, and probably long time from now I intend to build a family, and ultimately a partner because I'm not doing this to stay alone forever. I'm finally starting to take life seriously as an adult - at 41. Haha. Sigh.
Ummm...
Kris
is not
But
sati
[On the center page]
I'm not even a proponet
when it's hard.
Good day, much love.
Tom
Only just saw this mail. I'll respond in more detail later. I'm not angry with you or pushing
you away.
Tue, 10 Dec 2019 17:11, tom... wrote:
> Thanks for feeling that way. It's good to be in touch again.
>
> Please be careful who you push away. Step back a little bit. Further... a little further...
> <reachomjensen@mail.com>
I love you and your family and understand that you are excited to add another
member. I am not afraid to be distracted or have parents running pancakes over
for training. Each of us have a go-to grandma or aunt that can help. It's an important
matters because it's only a baby. Raising a child is a lot of work. But I'm going to put my
years and not be the relief grandma. Just one last thing: it is important to understand that you
care about you most likely going to be and that it's going to be a shock and a great joy to
have this child. It is surely not the only thing in life that matters! It works out
much as to be an adult at eighteen. Sure, there is the chance that it will
worth it! I'm sure he's still very much a kid
and that's okay.
As for everybody being against it and only your church friends b
perfect sense.
There's only one way that newcomers and relative stranger
They are in no way to dissenters, especially on
somebody you meet on a bus to completely
they don't have ten years involved in these
the boat they just got on, obviously. And of course ch
almost always anyways.
---
NOTE: SOME INFO MAY BE REDACTED
Tuesday, September 17, 2019 at 7:18 PM
Dear A.
I'm not sure how long it's been since we've talked or emailed or anything but I have no reason not to try to make contact again. Forgive me - I have lost my gift of the pen so this letter is going to be all over the place...
Basically, I tried to erase my past when we ended our friendship. I cut out everybody I ever cared about and smoked myself into oblivion with the weed. Other than my cats - the Butt died a year ago at 17 and my boy is 14 now - I was pretty much dead to the world. I ballooned up to 236 pounds, ate crap, didn't exercise, drank and stayed to myself. I didn't give a fuck about anything or anybody. A couple years ago I got my health back in order after a few major scares and have since quit drinking (14 months or so) and cigarettes (almost two years maybe?) but I was still hoovering the weed. I would smoke every 45 minutes ALL waking hours for the last five years.
Last week I did mushrooms and had a come to God moment with myself. I had planned it and I decided that enough was enough. I decided that the next day I would re-establish contact with those I loved. I am still early in the process but several people have come back already and I am a new person.
I am living in Maine with my father and my cat and started painting his house about a month ago. I did the inside and now I'm doing the outside. I'm stone cold sober for the first time ever with no vices and I think this might stick for a bit. Haha. I'm intending on becoming somebody who doesn't hate himself to death like I used to. I don't have much to offer at the moment - no job, no money, no status, but I do have the willingness to get back to the person I used to be. I didn't want to be accountable to anybody for the last five years and have been alone because of that. My ONLY friend for the last three years is my buddy Corey from grammer school and highschool but even that was mostly on my terms... Well, now I'm not self-sabotaging myself with every breath and I feel that good things are going to come.
I haven't even talked to a woman in the last five years. I am friends with Jen and Monica now - good friends from my past I recently looked up and am excited at my recent growth as a human being. I ceased being one for a long time...
So I don't have any set plan in stone at the moment other than being productive in life every day. I'm planning on moving somewhere warm when my cat dies whenever that is - hopefully a long time from now. I intend on doing something with my lyrics/music soon and probably finding another house to paint for money. I am willing to work for myself and ultimately a partner because I'm not looking to die alone anymore. Haha. I am willing to be accountable and hold up my end of the bargain. In short: I am ready to be an adult - at 41. Sigh....
Ummm.....
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