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SET LIST FOUR (4)
1 Married To Something Else………...35
2 Watering the Weeds
3 Rest In Peace…………….37
4 Downward Spiral
5 Rat Park……………..38
6 Rehab
7 Something In My Genes……...41
8 Alcohol
9 Empty Bottle…………….43
10 My Best Friends……………...44
11 Old Friends…………..44
12 Let Me Live the Dream …….46
MARRIED TO SOMETHING ELSE
You watch him come stumbling through the door
Find yourself wondering if you can take it anymore
The wedding ring bonds until death does part
But what’s on your finger is not in your heart
After ten years it’s still the same
While the love is gone
The smell of whiskey still remains
You know you can’t let him drag you down
That’s why some nights you live in another town
You dream of a future where you are free
Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be
You stare at the door until he comes home
Thinking your happiest days are spent alone
Its tugging at your heart it replays in your mind
When he’s sober he’s one of a kind
But that only happens about half of the time
After ten years it’s still the same
While the love is gone
The smell of whiskey still remains
You know you can’t let him drag you down
That’s why some nights you live in another town
You dream of a future where you are free
Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be
It’s never too late for another start
Age doesn’t matter when it concerns the heart
You know you can’t let him drag you down
That’s why some nights you live in another town
You dream of a future where you are free
Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be
It’s time to say your peace and pray a little prayer
To hope he’ll make it on his own when you’re not there
Then maybe he’ll take a look down inside himself
And realize he’s married to something else....
WATERING THE WEEDS
There are no more secrets
No more trying to hide what you know is true
And you better believe it
There’s no more denying to yourself
No use left in lying to everybody else
Self-crucifying…that’s exactly what you do
Jesus Christ!
Yeah, he did it, too
What game is left to play?
When you can’t play pretend?
Just what do you say?
When you know it’s the end?
This crippling disease has taken its toll
Will never heal, can never mend
Will never be whole
No escaping the demons that have taken control
Show me a man who has lost his strength
I’ll show you a man who has lost his soul
And once you’ve lost the love
Then that’s the end…it’s time to go
While you’ve been praying for salvation
I’ve been thinking about
All the time you’ve been wasting
Seems this madness never stops
In your mind you flip then flop
Riding a broken down Merry-Go-Round
Wondering when you’re gonna get off?
When will you realize that…
We’ve all just one life to live
You’ve got your fingers and your toes
In the cracks of the dam
As you find you’re running out of hands
And it’s still leaking like a sieve
You had better back away
‘Cause pretty soon something’s gonna give
When will you realize that…
You’re better off alone
You can’t get blood from a stone
When’s he coming home?
Don’t you think that’s a bit too soon?
You truly are your mother’s child
If you believe this rose is going to bloom
Perhaps it’s time to grab the weed wacker
For your little secrets can stab like jabbing thorns
Like how many times he’s really smacked ya
There are no excuses left for you to use
By now you know that you’ve been warned
Time to turn off the hose
And stop watering the weeds
There’s already few too many flowers
Is this what the world really needs?
REST IN PEACE
When the flames rose up
I watched my house burn down
As everything I had
Lay smoldering on the ground
Yet I wasn't sad
For me and my cats got out
But I got this sinking feeling
That there was something else....
I walked over to the lawn
Began rummaging around
That's when I remembered
My ears didn't hear the sound
Of a piercing shriek
Yelling at me to wipe my feet
Saying wash your hands twice
Before you come touching me...
Oooooh.....
that's right.....
Oooops....
she must have been asleep...
So when someone asks me,
"How's my wife?"
I say, "May she rest in peace"
DOWNWARD SPIRAL
I've got something on my mind
so I better just say it
I hear the music in my heart
but I just can't play it
I feel good inside but I can't explain it
I don't mind when people cry
I don't mind when it's raining
I don't mind when most people die
At least they stop their complaining
I've been led by many people, places and things
There's just so much out there in which to believe
I've loved many people and then
had to cut my strings
Just to end up watching
each of them leave
Have to go and plant another seed
Go and find something to fill the void
For idle time is the devil's toy
For sometimes being alone
Is worse than being unemployed
Sometimes you're Siegfried
Sometimes you're the tiger
And sometimes you're Roy
High above
An angel cries
And down below
Even storms have eyes
What grows in me
I now despise
Deep inside
another man dies
Blood clot...........
Gunshot
It's all the same
Heartache......
A big mistake
Just part of the game
Weeds growing wild
A saddened child
Just who is to blame?
Another birthday cake
Wear black at the wake
We're so glad you came
It's a vicious cycle
You better stay on your toes
It's a downward spiral
It comes and goes...
RAT PARK
Like the town witch on fire
I’ve become a social pariah
I have lost my desire
To climb up any higher
There’s an energy vampire
Now standing right beside ya
There’s lots to know that you can’t see
Until you crack the code
or else find the key
I was in rough shape
Looking for an escape
Started feeling sick
Must be time to get fixed
Look inside to see what’s broken
Hoping it’s not a hopeless situation
And that I really am worth saving
Since copping is not coping
When stopping isn’t an option
Oh how can I regain my focus?
It seems we cling to our vices
In major times of crisis
And when we’re feeling isolated
Day by day we’re being sedated
In a state of constant bereavement
Because we’ve failed to have our needs met
Hence our only sense of achievement
Is when we depart this world and leave it
Often it is fleeting and lost after a moment
Though you’re taking a beating
you try your best not to show it
It was when my world was dark
I made some friends at rat park
They said that I could stay there
That there were lots of fun games to play there
In lofts, down slides and on wheels we play
Oh no more boring lonely days
I’ve been growing stronger no longer do I crave
Of thinking, drinking or sleeping away the day
Yeah, some get lost and some get saved
Others find themselves getting thrown away
Some are still searching even after all these days
You either make your escape or become one with the maze
Remember if God grants wishes
To all those who kneel and pray
That means that somewhere there’s
A fallen angel waiting to have his day
REHAB
Sometimes I need a good talking to
To set my mind at ease
It's not always good for you
Doing just what you please
When the door is locked
You just need the right keys
Stop peaking through the keyhole
Get up off your knees
Just a glimpse of the whole
Will never do
With the door barred and chained
It's so hard to get through
Like a deer in headlights
Your feet stick like glue
Denial is just another lie
That you believe is true
Yeah...
I've been sedated
My head played with
Medicated
Regulated
And every word they said dictated
I've been questioned and I stated
That everything good I had I've traded
With every step I've walked been baited
A life like mine you begin to hate it
Well, the doctor's in
And he'll take your money
Then when you're not looking
He'll call you funny...
Names behind your back
The nurses are in on it I got a hunch
See their crooked smiles
While they're serving lunch....
Their white gowns
Should be striped with black
You gotta pay the bills
That'll pay for all the pills
They say will cure your ills
While they're raking in the mils
They locked him in the closet
And then they lost the key
Twenty years later
When they finally found it
They finally set him free
Though he looked much older
He looked okay to me
Though he acted much colder
Like we all expected him to be
Rehab - you never come out
The way you came in
Rehab - Get drunk off words
When they take your gin
Rehab - You'll never be the same
Rehab - you'll never go there again
When he gets home he has a drink
Passes out at the kitchen sink
Though his liver's fine his mind is bloated
Just one drink and his head exploded
Rehab - you never come out
The way you came in
Rehab - Get drunk off words
When they take your gin
Rehab - You'll never be the same
Rehab - you'll never go there again
SOMETHING IN MY GENES
I've got the life juice
Flowing inside me...
Sometimes
Other times
It's been denied from me
I think that depression
Is starting to kick in
Gotta find myself a room
And get checked in...
Quick!
Gotta get it together
Or else just keep on getting sick
Boy I'm in the mix
Into getting my fix
Fu$% being rich!
I'm just another hypocrite
Who talks and talks
But it's just more sh$%
So you learn to live with it
Become a walking regret
Or else a song-writing poet
Boy life sucks
Don't you know it?
I'm a druggie
I'm an alki
I'm a nicotine fiend
I'm a loser
An abuser
Do you know what I mean?
What I've done
Can't be undone
Oh, the things I've seen
This monkey on my back weighs a ton
A weight so heavy I cannot out run
There must be something in my genes
This monkey on my back weighs a ton
A weight so heavy I cannot out run
There's always something in my jeans
Just as the sun comes up
My head goes down
I pick up the paper
And then I put it down
I may waste my life
But at least it's just my own
You won't read about
Any killing sprees from me
When you get home
I may be on page fifty-six
Another kid, another lesson
Another druggie looking for his fix
Wrong place, wrong time
Got bagged for possession
In the home of the brave
And the land of the free
You get to choose
Your own obsession
I'm a druggie
I'm an alki
I'm a nicotine fiend
I'm a loser
An abuser
Do you know what I mean?
What I've done
Can't be undone
Oh, the things I've seen
I've always got something
To write about
I always find myself in a tunnel
In which I can't get out
As the light keeps getting
Dimmer in the distance
Every night I'm on the card
For the heavyweight bout
I once was strong
But now I'm beginning
To have my doubts
I think I may be in need
Of some assistance
ALCOHOL
I am a victim though I feel like a hero
You make me feel like number one yet I'm a zero
All this you put me through and still I go back to you
What is wrong with me? Why can't you let me be?
I saw you once and then I saw you twice
Now I see you all the time
When everything is said and done
I'm the one who pays the price
You never treated me kind
I had to descend from the highest mountains
Just to come back to earth
I climbed up the slopes of the valleys
For what any of it is worth
Still I come back to you after all that you put me through
You and I walked hand in hand and I picked you up when you fell
I thought you were my ticket to heaven and still I landed here in hell
Our conversations were one-sided…I never tried to hide it
You've never given me good advice
Still I come back to you
When everything is said and done… I'm the one who pays the price
Every time I try to stay away you cross my path nearly everyday
I fight so hard to walk a straight line
I fight so hard to leave you behind
Once false step and I'm back again and no further on then where I began
Still I come back to you after all that you put me through
What is wrong with me? Why won't you let me be?
EMPTY BOTTLE
I know you're thinking
Pondering tomorrow
I finally quit drinking
Drowning in my sorrow
Saved myself from sinking
I put down the bottle
When it started leaking
Some things you only borrow
So I know what you're seeking
Who do you lead...whom do you follow?
We both know of what I'm speaking
What do you need and what is hollow?
Do you see your reflection
In an empty bottle?
You don't know where you’re going
Only God knows where you’ve been
But the river keeps on flowing
And the part of you unknowing
Always goes wading on in
Signs read danger, don't fall in
Or you don't know the trouble you're in
Water so sweet it tastes just like gin
Take a dip and be baptized
In the pool of sin
Yet this path you walk
Wasn't chosen all on your own
As the thoughts you think are so deceiving
Everyday drifting farther from home
Now you regret the day you thought of leaving
The hard stuff's in the freezer
The 30 pack's in the fridge
The troubles of the world are building
Which way to the bridge?
You don't know where you’re going
Only God knows where you’ve been
But the river keeps on flowing
And the part of you unknowing
Always goes wading on in
Signs read danger, don't fall in
Or you don't know the trouble you're in
Water so sweet it tastes just like gin
Take a dip and be baptized
In the pool of sin
I know you're thinking
Pondering tomorrow
I finally quit drinking
Drowning in my sorrow
Saved myself from sinking
I put down the bottle
When it started leaking
Some things you only borrow
So I know what you're seeking
Who do you lead...whom do you follow?
We both know of what I'm speaking
What do you need and what is hollow?
Do you see your reflection
In an empty bottle?
MY BEST FRIENDS
One day at a time
Step by step
Suck toxins down
With every breath
In my time of weakness
I was never all alone
I despise the day
Tobacco seeds were sewn
Hand in hand
Right by my side
And when we went
Our separate ways
A part of me died
My twenty little friends
Though small in size
Became my foes
Whom I now despise
When the truth is clear
They kill you slow
There’s no pleading ignorance
When everybody knows
OLD FRIENDS
It looks like
I’m stuck inside the house again
Because I said goodbye
To all of my party friends
Going straight
can be so tough
When I’m alone
it’s especially rough
That is why I write for you
It really kills the time thinking up rhymes
After all that I’ve been through
If you listen up then I can save you some time
I’ve written stoned
I’ve written sauced
But I had trouble
Getting my point across
While trying to find myself
I often got lost
But with the devil gone
Now I’m the boss
The liquor store’s
It’s still open
My dealer
He’s still smokin’
Only one call away
I could ease my mind
Get a little number
That’s why I took his number
And I threw it away
Before I throw it all away
Girls who’ve been with me
They always forced me to choose
Now every one of them is history
And I’m the one left singing the blues
Anytime I hear about old friends
It’s only been bad news
Something like, “Hey, he’s in jail”
“Can I borrow some money for bail?”
I’d ask how he got there
They answered the cops found all the clues
The men in blue arrived at his house…
And started asking questions
Smelled something funny…
So he got bagged for possession
When he goes to church
He should ask god for repentance
The last time he got called into the station
Judge gave him probation
With a two-year suspended sentence
The list goes on and on
And it keeps getting worse
All my friends are hexed
I had to cross my name
Off of the list
Before I was next
For this black cloud hanging over me
It’ll follow me for two years
Before I am free
And if my probation officer I don’t see
I’ll sleep for the next six months
Inside a correctional facility
LET ME LIVE THE DREAM
I woke up… My mind was racing
When my feet hit the floor… they soon started pacing
Craving the apple I was once tasting
Footsteps to the past I began retracing
Running from old enemies I once was facing
All the while believing I was escaping
I never show my weakness even when I am breaking up inside
The only thing stronger than my ego is my foolish sense of pride
Sometimes I sacrifice all I've made
To live within a lie
The only cross to which I'm bound
Is burning me alive
Oh my, my, my, my... let me live the dream
Of escaping the demons... alive and unseen
From the blaring whispers of compulsion
Very few mortals can hide
Freedom is just another word for failure
For all those who have lost when they've tried
For the key to unlocking the mind is different
To each be them young or old
In trying to reach what they're searching for
Yet have never been able to hold
Oh my, my, my, my... let me live the dream
Of escaping the demons... alive and unseen
I tried staying with my own kind
I tried swimming within my own mind
But so slowly the path unwinds
Though I keep following what I hope to find
Even when life looks grave as you're running out of time
Could reality ever match my dream?
Will this nightmare ever end?
Will a new day ever begin?
Can I learn to make myself whole again?
To live without and change within?
Oh my, my, my, my...
let me live the dream
Of escaping the demons...
alive and unseen
Out of sight can mean out of mind
Yet what I am running from is never far behind
Once distant memories now mirror the present
As the shadowless clock has stopped telling time
No, you can't escape the voices
Echoing inside of your ear
As thoughts become desires
Speaking all too loud and clear
Although you may bow your head
While pretending not to hear
When the calming silence is gone
You know what is there
Oh my, my, my, my...
let me live the dream
Of escaping the demons...
alive and unseen