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SET LIST SEVENTEEN (17)
1 Point of Reference…………...183
2 Cello
3 That's That…………………..184
4 Beware of the Snoogins
5 Dot Dot Space……………...185
6 Flyswatter of Love…...188
7 Times Up………………..189
8 Sunday Morning Sex…...190
9 Behave…………………...….191
10 Spreading the Word
11 Tired…………………..192
12 Actress
13 Empty Room……………...193
POINT OF REFERENCE
You keep waiting for your eyes to meet
Two lives become instantly changed forever
Sometimes you believe that day may come today
Other times you think to yourself never
That’s why god made the Russians black
Or maybe white depending on your preference
That’s why when I go out I’m never looking back
Because by now I’ve lost all point of reference
Ha ha ha…
(My plan worked to perfection)
I was feeling stranded and left
By the side of the road
Only seeking tranquility
And a place to call home
Until we met when I said,
“Meow baby, you wanna go roaming with me?”
You see, I’m just another aimless cat
Strolling back from combing the alley
But you and me, we could leave…
Help cure each other’s disease…
We could become great friends or family
Hell, we could even get married
CELLO
I’m a one night show…Yeah…
I’m a one man band…Oh
Sometimes I glow…ya know…
And some nights don’t go
as they were planned…
Why’d you just let go of my hand?
Ahh…So you think you know
Where all this is going?
Please, won’t you understand?
It was a trap and I was unknowing:
You’ve come across a desperate man
Yet you wanna sink my battle ship
Without seeing the battle plans
All because of one false radar blip
One wrong ding in your quick scan
I needed to silence this silence
Won’t you please bring in the violins
And the fellow who plays the cello
And won’t you kindly say hello
To all the people in the lobby
Who all told me I needed a better hobby
Better than telling all the citizens
That I’m mostly a dissident
Who doesn’t trust institutions
That mainly pitch pollution
Not to all the gentry and worldly citizens
But mostly to just the Americans
I’m a one night show…Yeah…
I’m a one man band…Oh
Sometimes I glow…ya know…
And some nights don’t go
as they were planned…
Why’d you just let go of my hand?
THAT’S THAT
Well, hey baby…
I know you’d love to lick my soul
With those eyes full of fire
Burning out of control
But you know me
I’m the one you can’t have
Because life is unfair
Oh, don’t let it get you sad
Just enjoy these dreams….
They are all you’ll ever have
Cause I’m a sexy young thing….
And you’re you….and that’s that!
BEWARE OF THE SNOOGINS
I said beware of the snoogins
— yeah, yeah
You said you knew what you were doing
— yeah, yeah
Your mistakes are far from
few and in between in
Sometimes you give the word
fu%&ed up a whole meaning!
You say I'm hurting myself
I say better than
hurting someone else
Oh oh you make a little lovin'
Ah ah bun in the oven
Uh oh splish splash, get fat
Uh uh dumpster baby in the trash
Oh oh drive to the pier
Uh uh all your problems disappear
Uh oh daughter in the water
Uh uh son added to the slaughter
These crazy kids today...
They don't know what they're doing
They're killing themselves...
each other.... And lives are being ruined
Mom and dad are too busy working
To know son Johnny is a real f*&%^@g jerk
and... It's just more time on this rhyme
That I got to spend working
Poor, poor teacher
Stuck with problem child Billy
What the little boy needs is some attention
Instead he gets slapped silly
I said beware of the snoogins — yeah, yeah
You said you knew what you were doing — yeah, yeah
Your mistakes are far from few and in between in
Sometimes you give the word fu%&ed up a whole meaning!
You say I'm hurting myself
I say better than hurting someone else
Oh oh Ah ah Uh oh Uh uh
you make a little lovin'
bun in the oven
splish splash
get fat
dumpster baby in the trash...
DOT DOT SPACE B
I've finally decided
to give you a piece of my mind
You've taken up another hour
of my precious time
Even printed it in Braille
'cause you can be so blind
Now I'll dictate it to you
one paragraph at a time
Bold face
Dot space
Lower case
Dot dot space
Dot dot
dot dot space
Dot dot
Double space
Bold face
Dot dot space
Lower case
Dot dot
dot dot dot - oops
Back space
Bold face
Dot dot space
Dot double space
Lower case
Dot dot
dot dot
Single space
Dot dot space
Thought I could make it through
this but I know that I cannot
Feelings I once embraced
are now tying me in a knot
Used to live to see your face
when my blood boiled red hot
The light in your eyes has been dwindling
at this same familiar pace
Bold face
Dot space
Lower case
Dot dot space
Dot dot
dot dot space
Dot dot
Double space
Bold face
Dot dot space
Lower case
Dot dot
dot dot dot - oops
Back space
Bold face
Dot dot space
Dot double space
Lower case
Dot dot
dot dot
Single space
Dot dot space
I've given you everything I've got
and that's a lot
We were once a team
but now it seems I'm your mascot
I guess I've always known
that we were at best a long shot
Two hearts once burned
but there's no more kindling in the fireplace
Bold face
Dot space
Lower case
Dot dot space
Dot dot
dot dot space
Dot dot
Double space
Bold face
Dot dot space
Lower case
Dot dot
dot dot dot - oops
Back space
Bold face
Dot dot space
Dot double space
Lower case
Dot dot
dot dot
Single space
Dot dot space
You've become my brace
and all the good times we've shared I've forgot
I was going to write more
but it's best that I ought not
So I'll leave you
with this very last forget-me-not
I fell for you,
we fell in love
and then we fell from grace
Bold face
Dot space
Lower case
Dot dot space
Dot dot
dot dot space
Dot dot
Double space
Bold face
Dot dot space
Lower case
Dot dot
dot dot dot - oops
Back space
Bold face
Dot dot space
Dot double space
Lower case
Dot dot
dot dot
Single space
Dot dot space
FLY SWATTER OF LOVE
As my eyes stayed glued to the door
And the stairs that you'll walk up no more
A great pain it rang through my ears
If I cried out there'd be nobody left who cares
After getting the latest
message that you sent me
Yes, this I must confess
My chessboard was empty
Your silence sang to me in memory
like the newly fallen rain
Yet the pawn moves along
knowing it's only part of the game
As I left alone that night on the train
Simply no longer able to explain
That the vision I once saw of us
No longer looked the same
As inaudible words dribbled
Down the side of my face
I wondered what I was still doing
In this crazy place?
It seems the wine in my glass
I could no longer taste
My fears weren't in haste
This was all a big mistake
A butterfly in a web
Inside this cocoon I'm encased
A mugged man in Central Park
Without any bear spray or mace
Still sometimes inside my mind
You lay naked on the rug
As I come closer you extend
Your arms out for a hug
As I approach I fall in the hole
That you freshly dug...
I got squashed by
the fly swatter of love
just like a bug
TIMES UP
My misdirected passion
Has led to many lashes
Put all my eggs in one basket
As if you even had to ask it
I made a rash decision
And did something I wish I didn’t
Now everything is broken
All black with ash and smoking
As I’ve lost all intention and desire
To ever again go near or play with fire
I know I’ve said this all before
But this time I won’t be called a liar
I don’t wanna feel
Like love’s not real
But I’ve grown sick and tired
Of being used
And if it’s self-abuse
I’m thinking I might retire
Take up another trade
In my old age
Hey, this gun’s for hire
Got a few bullets left
But at least I’m outta debt
So what if my plan backfired?
Sure you can save for a rainy day
Then watch as a typhoon comes your way
You can look around there’s no escape
Right now you are face to face with the wave
Sometimes it’s water and sometimes it’s mud
Sometimes it’s floating debris coming to f*ck you up!
Sometimes it’s earned and sometimes bad luck
Sometimes you jump when you should have ducked!
Time’s up!
SUNDAY MORNING SEX
Where is Noah when you need him?
As the water runs God says,
"We're even!"
Stupid humans now see
What you've done
There's ten feet of mud
That now fills the Garden of Eden
Yeah, you read the book
Never calling the legend a myth
So you never believed
That it would come to this...
With so many false idols
Just who could resist?
Went to church on Sunday
And then became a hypocrite
As you stood on your roof
and you shook your fists
Deceiving in believing
that being blessed
Would be better than this
Oh...someone free me from this misery
Today, not unlike yesterday
Is still not how it should be
There's way too many people
Gazing up at the steeple
Wondering silently
If this whole damn thing ends violently
Yes...once they sought to confide in me
But those days have long gone
They have passed
Maybe I was wrong when I asked:
"If Judas had turned the other cheek
Would he have been slapped?"
Perhaps
I am worse than Judas
And I ain't talking about the priest
'Cause God sorta sees me as a blasphemist
Just because I got another belief...
Repent, repent, repent
I promise I'll never do it again
Now may I go in peace?
Finally I have my freedom
Received relief so to speak
The big guy in the sky
Is the only one to take creed in
Oh sh$%, this hypocrite just told a lie
She just walked on by
And as she batted her eyes
I looked down between my own thighs
And only saw with one eye
I do believe I am gonna die...
Because...
It's the best stuff on earth
But it's not made by Snapple
And to think that Adam
Only settled for an apple
Oops! You dropped your fig leaf Eve
I just heard the voice of God
Say I think it's time for you to leave…
You better leave the garden
Now that you've had your fun
If Eve came from a rib
Then you know where...
The snake came from
BEHAVE
I don’t need to be treated
Like I’m a superstar
I just needed to feel needed
And Honey there you are
Back seat love – can’t beat it
And you’re making it hard
To resist ya - you fine sista
I’d like to break you like the law
Standing looking down at you
Wishing that you were on top of me
You don’t need to say you love me
That’s never been my number one priority
I’m not looking for purity…
On that you can be sure
Maybe it’s just the Magellan in me, baby
That finds the need to explore
Yeah, I used to go buck wild
Back in the day
Then one day my daddy
Took me aside
He said, “Son behave…
Stop thinking like a child
It’s time to act your age…
It’s time to act your age”
SPREADING THE WORD
I just cracked my first beer
But I ain’t much fun
‘til I had about eight more
That’s the only way
I don’t think so clear
As I forget the harsh reality
That this world has in store
I imagine it’s mostly the same
For just about everybody like me
At least that’s what I claim
At least that’s what, so far, I see
The whole world’s going to hell
Because of money, because of technology
Because of greed
And of course it doesn’t help
When you’ve got six billion people
More than you need
Man’s the only animal who takes prisoners
The only species where
Someone can get something for nothing
We’re the only ones who pay taxes for welfare
We’re the only ones who hold
A finger on the button
Darwin was right
About everybody but us
We could use another plague…
We could use another flood
Many secretly agree with what I say
But no one’s willing to board that bus
We could use another world war
So we can spill some more of our blood
Yeah, there’s many who agree
But then say, “What…Who…Me?”
Would rather be sitting on the fence
Than hanging from a tree
No, no, no
They’d never make that big of sacrifice
No, no, no
They’d never take that advice
They only say, “You first!”
To which I respond, “Now that’s absurd!”
“If I was in the back of a hearse
Then there’d be no one left to spread the word.”
TIRED
We sat out in the rain because
We were just so tired of screwing up
A clap of thunder and she didn’t blink
She’s been hit with everything but the kitchen sink
Standing tall when you should have ducked
It’s quickest way to get fucked up
As you’re the one left out in the rain
You think it’s time that maybe you changed
Got caught in the river and its turbulent flow
Got used to things that no woman should know
Got a decision that’s only yours to make
Got a way out… yeah you got an escape
You can go live with your brother
He ain’t been right since mother
Caught her sister in bed with father
Yeah, they were all over each other
They ended up having a daughter
My family tree’s now is a jungle
Rather than face the hot water
They pretended her dad was her uncle
Your brother has a farm in Topeka
And you know he would sure love to see ya
You could stay there and pick up the pieces
Spent some time with the nephews and nieces
ACTRESS
It’s time to write you out of the story
Since most of the lines no longer include me
I don’t want you to be the star of my movie
I’m the wrong writer so why did you choose me?
When you knew you were just gonna use me
I thought I knew which way I was facing
But I was the producer that you were directing
Yet again casting made the wrong selection
But I must say that you were cast
Because your talents were vast
You were the head of your class
It sure helps to look like that:
And oh boy… could you act
You smiled porcelain glass
Leaving an impression that lasts
I find my mind awaken from its nap
Blinking and thinking:
Oh what a fine piece of a$$
It’s time to write you out of the story
Since most of the lines no longer include me
I don’t want you to be the star of my movie
I’m the wrong writer so why did you choose me?
When you knew you were just gonna use me
I thought I knew which way I was facing
But I was the producer that you were directing
Yet again casting made the wrong selection
EMPTY ROOM
You live in a box
You build your walls
And when you stand up
You seem so tall
That's just because
You're in an empty room
But it's not your fault
So, I don't blame you
When you philosophize
amongst the dead
I could imagine the conversations
Going on in your head
Of course they're mostly
centered around either him or her
Or you and me...
Never talk about Bolivia,
East Timor or the Middle East
Can't sing about the hypocritical
Some listeners might get pissed
Better to deal in the trivial,
agreeable and bliss...
Stick to matters of the heart
Tell them what they want to hear
Lull them to sleep with art
The best paid musicians are magicians
That can make the bad things disappear